Mrs.Rathna Khemani-World renowned Personality Development Trainer

1st April 2007

Make Your Child a Winner

Seminar by Ms. Ratna Khemani

As parents we want our child to succeed, be a winner in life.

However, we are sometimes lost as to how to help our child.

Ratna Khemani, an internationally acclaimed Personality

Counsellor, Director of the Pune-based Academy of Natural

Health & Beauty & the Centre for Personality Development

conducted a parenting workshop to help parents make their

child a winner. She shared her insights to a Chennai audience

on April 1st in an interactive public programme organised by

Sangati Trust in Anna Nagar, Chennai.

There were about 10 couples and some of them had brought

their children along with them. Since this was a session

meant exclusively for parents, the parents were concerned

the children will become restless during the session. Ratnaji

suggested the children we allow to sit near their parents and

do some drawing. The children initially stayed with the

parents drawing, but soon found playing together in a

neighbouring room more interesting !

Here are some comments made during the seminar and discussions,

Some of us become parents by accident, some by societal

pressure. Do you understand what I mean by societal pressure.

There are many people who have nothing better to do in the

world, except for commenting and suggesting. They pressurise

your mother-in-laws. Having a child is a very personal choice,
which has to be made with a great amount of responsibility,

wisdom and thought. Once you have a child it must be given

the best that you can. Only some become parents by choice.

Bringing up a child is a most intricate kind of work. Whatever a child
becomes we are responsible, as parents and as teachers.

Love - show the love, be kind, dont ignore the child

Children are 10 times more intelligent than you. Be Honest. If you dont
know dont give false answers. Tell her, "I'll check and answer you."

Support - Be approachable. Children tell lies because they are scared.

Dont automatically send your child to tuitions, only if she needs it. If
the child spends all waking hours in school and tuition, when will the
child play ?

Give the child space.

Understanding and Trust - trust your child. If he is going to be with
his friends, trust him, let him have his space.

Encourage the child . Your child is capable. Encourage it.

If you want children to do something, follow a rule, you better first.
If you want your child to eat green vegetables, you should first eat them.
You (Parent) are the first teacher. Home is the first school.

Nutrition Point : Our food does not have fibres. carrots, cucumbers,
califlowers

Constipation is the root cause of most problems in a child. If you
dont take care of this, you'll end up with 100 other problems. See that
your child gets up early in morning, goes to toilet in the morning everyday,
this is more important than meeting the Prime Minister !

Eat greens - spinach. Eat vegetables - carrot , cabbage, cauliflower - all
naturally coloured ones have Beta-carotine good for the eyes and
cancer-fighting agent.

Its not automatic that after reaching 50 you must use reading glasses.
Congenital is different. But wearing glasses is not part of natural process
of ageing.

If your child is a rose, accept him to be a rose. Other children may be
jasmine, chrysanthemum, magnolia,etc. Accept him to be rose.

There is nothing like a generation gap. There is a generation difference.
Generation difference is always there between us and our parents, our
parents and their parents. but the gap is created when we are overdemanding,
overcritical, etc. Dont tell the child,'When I was small I was like this.'
Dont take the child backward.

Spend as much time as you can with your child. Take your child with
you whenever you can, even on work, when possible. Take drawing paper,
pencils,etc.

Dont think by buying extra toys, extra expensive things you can make
up for your time.

No greater gift to a child, than giving him yourself.

Dont medicate your children for mental stress or other issues unless
its absolutely necessary.

All of the points were communicated using lively demonstrations with the
participation of the audience and simple but powerful anecdotes and
examples.

Ratna's Gems © for Parents, 2005.

* Remember your child is 10 times more intelligent than you. He cannot be fooled even for a minute.

* Give him correct information, in a simple and straightforward way. If you do not know some answer, tell him, you will find out

* Surround him with an atmosphere of love. Give him love for what he is, not because he has come 1st in class or excelled in atheletics or extra curricular activities.

* Remember he is facing pressure in his life, just as we adults are facing in our life. He may not be able to express it verbally, but shows it in throwing temper tantrums, depression, failing & not performing.well in school, bed wetting, or finding solace in eating a large amount.

* Spend time with him by sharing some hobbies or even going for errands together.

* Do not be critical, over demanding, condemning.

* Discipline in eating, watching TV, playing, sleeping & studying on time, must be observed.

* Be kind when you are talking to him. sometimes our own problems , for which the child is not responsible, are passed on to him, by our bad temper & rudeness.

* Remember the 1st school of a child is home & the 1st teachers are we, parents. Inculcate the right values & the right habits by following them yourself.

* Terrorists are not born terrorists. They are made by us. They are made by society by our rude, mean condemning behaviour.

* Keep the doors of communication open by being receptive & encouraging, so he can talk to you.

* There is no generation gap. There is a generation difference. This existed between our parents & us, between their parents & them. The gap is what we create, by our own behaviour.

* Give your child encouragement, love, support & trust.

* Allow him to make decisions, commensurate with his age & ability.

* Give him space. We all like to be left alone,with our thoughts, many times. so does your child.

* Make the most of this beautiful relationship. It is God's gift. Value it.

* With all my awards & accolades, if you ask me, "what is your greatest achievement, Ratna? I would say, " bringing up the 3 most wonderful children on earth, who are beautiful young adults & most important of all, gorgeous human beings"

A little about Ratnaji

Ratna Khemani is Director of the Pune-based Academy of Natural Health &
Beauty & the Centre for Personality Development. She is an M.Sc in
Mathematics, M.Sc in Psychology & Nutrition & also holds a masters degree in
communication.

She is visiting faculty in several management institutes & conducts
programmes for corporates like Infosys Technologies, Wipro, ONGC, Axel
Technologies, etc. She is winner of several Gold Medals & also won the
Outstanding Commonwealth student award at the hands of Queen Elizabeth.
She has been interviewed by the BBC, CNBC, Star Plus, Zee network &
several papers & periodicals.

Prince Charles of England, Queen Noor of Jordon, President Shanker Dayal
Sharma, Prime Ministers Atal Bihari Vajpayee & Rajiv Gandhi are some of
the people who have personally admired her work.

A warm & caring person, her sound academic background makes complicated
truths come alive in a simple down to earth manner, that make her seminars
extremely popular to both young & old alike. Ratna educates poor children
with her personal earnings.

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